If you’ve gotten to the point that you’re planning on getting married and you haven’t noticed that your partner is a control freak, then hopefully you’re in the clear. However, there are some signs that you might not have noticed.
If you notice some of these things, it could be time for you to have a discussion with your partner before you go through with getting married. While living with a control freak can be difficult, there are ways that you can manage it.
Spotting a Control Freak
There are some things that could indicate that you’re dating a control freak. Power of Positivity has a good list on the signs of a control freak, but here are some other as well:
- Your partner is a perfectionist and needs things to be done a certain way
- They are predictable and prefer a routine
- They always have a set plan, and get upset when the plan doesn’t go as according
- They become anxious or stressed out when things go unexpected
- They have very specific ways of doing things
- They are only able to see one way of doing something and refuse or have great difficulty doing it another way
- They have a hard time delegating: giving you a task to do on your own without having a say
- They are always micromanaging or hovering around you to ensure that you do things ‘right’
- They may judge people who do things differently than they do
On their own, these things might not seem so problematic, and are actually fairly normal ways to behave. The issue arises when these problems start to become a default in your relationship, and your partner starts to see your behaviour as something that they can control.
What to Do if My Partner’s a Control Freak
If your partner is displaying controlling tendencies, the first thing to do is make an effort to understand the problem. Remember that their controlling behaviour is almost always a result of some form of anxiety.
One of the best ways to deal with a control freak is to address their anxiety – this allows you to deal with the root of the issue, instead of just rejecting them for the way that they deal with their anxiety.
These are some ways that you can work around being with a control freak:
- Let them know if things are going to change soon, or if things aren’t able to go according to plan. This will give them time to adjust so that they won’t be so anxious or stressed out when changes do occur.
- Set boundaries. Your partner probably wants you to do things their way, but you don’t have to. If you set boundaries as to what you’re willing to accept or change, then they should respect that. Let them know your limits and how much you can tolerate.
- Have an open conversation and tell them how they feel. If they truly care about you and the relationship, they may be willing to address their own behaviour for the betterment of both of you.
Hopefully these tips can help you and your partner overcome the anxiety that leads them to having controlling behaviour.
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