When you get married, you’re committing yourself to the person you love, and while that’s a wonderful event, it may also require sacrifice, change, and in some cases, significant upheaval. There are decisions about where you’re going to live, and the implications for having to move jobs or change career for example, as well as thinking about how you’ll manage childcare, having pets, how you manage the household chores, and a hundred and one other considerations that you’ll need to make.
Choosing a home
If you both have a home already, it might seem logical to move into the one that’s larger or most convenient, but as this is one of your most important decisions you need to both be happy with the choice you make. It’s not unusual for people to feel uncomfortable with the idea of fitting in to their partner’s home and being somewhere that their partner lived before they were together. Therefore, it’s often better to look at getting a new place, one that you can both work on making your home with no history or sense of ownership on either side.
There’s no guarantee that the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with is going to conveniently live a couple of streets away; or even in the same county. To be together, one of you may have to agree to relocating to a different part of the country, or possibly moving to a new part of the world. Even if you don’t have to make that decision right now, it’s one that could come up in the future if one of you gets an exciting job opportunity. These decisions can’t be taken lightly and should be discussed openly together.
One of the most important ways in which you can make the transition agreeable for both partners is to find out what opportunities there would be in the proposed location for whichever partner is being asked to follow. There could be some great job opportunities in the new location, or you may need to be looking at a change of career; it’s vital to know what the prospects are and to start making inquiries before you actually move.
Whether it’s because you’re relocating or you just want to pursue your dream, changing career is something that can bring you many rewards but also involve plenty of hard work and sometimes a drop in income. You might want to study for more qualifications that give you a better chance of securing a well-paid job in the future, or you might want a change of pace or direction. Whatever your reason for changing career, you need to think about the impact on your partner and your lifestyle.
Returning to study
Going back to college full time isn’t often a viable option for adult learners, because it means giving up work in most cases and can be very expensive to fund. However, you can study and work as well as using online courses and work placements. For instance, if you currently work as a registered nurse in a busy hospital, you might wish to reduce the physical effort while remaining in a profession you love, or you might want to advance your career and move into a managerial role. Taking an online nursing MBA course enables you to keep working and earning while studying on your own time, which is an ideal way to progress in your career without losing valuable income.
Pets and kids
You might go into marriage with a clear idea of if and when you want to get a dog or have a baby – or both. Time can make changes, or you may not have made any plans before you got married, meaning that a few years down the line, you might have very different views. There are few more influential decisions than the ones you make about expanding your family, so keeping a dialogue going can make a great difference to successful communication. Always try to be reasonable and rational, and if you’re having trouble reaching a mutual decision, get some expert counseling.
Married life is all about happiness within a committed relationship where both partners feel loved and supported, and make decisions together. Taking time to talk, and most importantly listen, is a foundation for a happy marriage that will stand you in good stead over the years and help you reach decisions with which you’re both in agreement. Compromise at times is inevitable, but when you love someone enough to marry them, compromise shouldn’t feel like a burden.
To read more on topics like this, check out the weddings category.
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