Hollywood has given us a certain idea of what we expect marriage to be like. It’s brushing our teeth next to each other, it’s going grocery shopping together, and it’s reading books alongside each other before bedtime.
Yet, beyond these stereotypical representations of what marriage is, also come a multitude of changes. And while many of them are romantic, some of them may not be the picture-perfect scenario that you imagined. If you’ve recently gotten married, or you’re about to be, here are some of the biggest changes that you can anticipate.
Marriage brings with it big changes when it comes to your finances. Even if you decide to separate your finances, there are certain things that we’ll fall into a gray area. For example, if you have to call a plumber, who’s going to pay for it upfront?
How are you going to reimburse the other? On the other hand, maybe one spouse earns more money than the other. For some couples, this means the higher-earning spouse pays a larger portion of the rent, while for other couples this rule won’t apply.
There are all sorts of different financial arrangements that work for different people. It’s important to get these financial conversations out on the table before you tie the knot so that you have a clear understanding of your long-term financial plans.
When you’re single, you usually tend to hang out with a mix of crowds. You have single friends, and you have married friends, and you might even have some friends with kids. However, once you’re married you might find that you start hanging out more exclusively with married friends. This isn’t always a given, however, statistics show that most married couple’s closest friends are also married couples.
Even though many people are under the impression that the perfect relationship is one free of conflict, the truth is that conflict is a natural and healthy part of a relationship. Remember, there’s a difference between arguing, and conflict. As your married relationship progresses, you’ll start to find that you disagree on more and more things as the years go by. Believe it or not, this is healthy! The secret to working through conflict is hearing the other person’s point of view, and working towards resolution. Holding grudges or trying to manipulate each other is not a healthy way to handle conflict— it’s all about compromise.
When you first start your relationship, it’s all fireworks and rainbows. You can’t seem to take your eyes off of each other, and every waking minute you think about that person. When you’re married, however, that initial excitement eventually wears off, and your intimacy will transform.
While some people may see this as a negative thing, it doesn’t have to be. Intimacy evolves into something much deeper, as you start to connect on an emotional and physical level rather than simply physical. Allow these changes to happen, and embrace the evolution of your connection.